Tales of the Parodyverse

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AJA
Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 01:37:57 pm EDT
Subject
The Last Arnie J. Armbruster story?
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Arnold James Flying Hippotamus Armbruster (or Arnie to his friends): What kind of title is that?

AJA, the poster that be & writer of these stories: Well, It's an attention grabbing title.

Arnie.: Yeah! It makes seem like I'm dead.

AJA: No. Your not. If you were, would you be talking to me write now?

Arnie, thinks for a moment, then: Oh great!

AJA: What?

Arnie: I'm a Zombie!

*AJA slaps Arnie across the face as Arnie thought about the nutritional value of Brains*

Arnie: What was that about?

AJA: Your not dead or a Zombie. The Question Mark adds a bit of mystery: Is he dead or isn't he?

Arnie: Ok. I can live with that. Then, where am I & why is it so dark in here?

*AJA turns on a Light to reveal a black room that streched out for miles in every direction*

AJA: We are in an inbetween place, not really in the Parodyverse but not really out of the Parodyverse. Somewhere inbetween!

The Hero Feeder AJA met in his last/current adventure walks by: Hello!

AJA, waves: Hi, Shat!

Arnie: Who's that?

AJA: That's Shat, or at least that's what I've been calling him. He has another name but it's really hard to pronounce if your a human. Maybe the Manga Shoggoth could pronouce it but, definately no human could. Why I call him Shat is becuase he has similar speech patterns to those of the actor/singer/lady's man: William Shatner. Also, He's a Hero Feeder.

Arnie: A what?

AJA, pulls out an old copy of the "Who's Who in the Parodyverse" & begins to read: The Hero Feeders or Lurkers Behind, are parasites that infest the interdimensional vortex between realities in the Parodyverse, and occasionally break through to prey upon weak narratives, erasing them and the people and events contained in them from reality. In short, they feed on legends and can devour a hero and all memory of them. Some Hero Feeders are mindless instinctive beasts, while others are cunning and subtle. The Hero Feeders sometimes creep into the Parodyverse proper, taking on human shapes to indulge in their hedonistic revels. Most recently they have manifested as the Heckfire Club, an exclusive and powerful gentlemans' association in Paradopolis' ritzy Pierce Heights. Inner circle members include Simonides Slaughter (the Black Emperor), Anne Salem (the White Empress), Frederick Scarfe and Professor Hammond Stein. They occasionally harvest heroes from the city they farm. Other Hero Feeders have appeared as transsexual trandimensionals, as gothic vampires, and as galactic estate agents. All modern Hero Feeders are mere shadows of the powerful creatures that once moved through the vortex though. Those terrible beings were spilled out into reality by unwise experiments of the Second Oldest Race, and were only contained by the creation of the Psychostave that Nats once wielded and by a destruction of the Second Oldest Race so complete that even their name is lost.

Arnie: Uh... That's a little more then I needed to know.

AJA, laughing a bit: But, now you know & knowing is half the battle!

Arnie: Ok. But, what's with the Title?

AJA: Oh. Well, I've run out of ideas so you might as well be dead.

Arnie: Why?

AJA: Well, since I'm the only Poster that Be that chronicles your adventures. So, if I stop writting...

Arnie: I stop existing, at least according to your logic.

AJA, sighs: You still don't believe that your a figment of my imagination giving life via an Internet Messageboard?

Arnie: Uh.. No. But, that must be one powerful Messageboard if it can create a whole Universe!

AJA: Yes, it is. It does get some spam but that's dealt with quickly. Plus, this Messagebaord not only maintains one universe, but mulitiple!

*AJA waves his hand & the space above the duo lights up with tons of tiny little, blinking lights*

Arnie: What are those?

AJA: The Parodyverse Mulitiverse. See over there, in the upper left hand corner, The light that slightly dimmer then the rest?

Arnie: Yes?

AJA: That's the Universe I created for you.

Arnie: Why is it so dim?

AJA, smiling: People ask me the same question about you all the time!

Arnie: Hey!

AJA: Sorry, I couldn't resisit such an easy joke. The Light is dim because that Universe does not have alot of power/characters behind it. Plus, it doesn't really contect to the rest of the Multiverse.

Arnie: Now, who's fault is that?

AJA: Mine partly & I thought you didn't believe me?

Arnie: Well, I don't. But, go on!

AJA: I did put you & your friends in their own location (The City) & not in the shared city of Parrodipolis. I did that because I wasn't sure how to get you guys to interact with the others.

*AJA hands Arnie a piece of paper, a report card of sorts*

Arnie reads it: Doesn't play well with others. What does that mean?

AJA: Nothing really, just another easy joke I couldn't pass up.

Arnie: So because you couldn't figure out a way from Me, Snookie & the rest of my crew to interact with the rest of Humanity, we're being killed off?

AJA: I'm not sure. I have run out of ideas for you for the moment. I did try to writting a story involing me but I couldn't come up with an ending. So, In some Narrative strand somewhere I'm exiting a closet into some place with Shat. But, I don't really want to kill you off because I may have ideas for you in the future.

Arnie: So, what I am I to do in the mean time?

AJA: I don't know. Play Checkers?

Arnie: What are you going to do?

AJA: My life outside of this Messageborad is closing in & demanding more of my time. So, I don't have the time to come up with stories for you to star in.

*AJA takes off the Toga to reveal what he looks like in the "real" world, He is fully dressed*

Arnie: That's what you really look like?

AJA (or as he's called in the "real" world, Andy): Yeah.

Arnie: I'm written by a loser!

Andy: I might be a loser. But, I'm the loser that created you. An intresting sidenote: You, Arnie J. Armbruster, are the Anti-Me. Your everything I'm not. So, it's sort of interesting that you think I'm a loser.

*Arnie was about to say something but couldn't find the words*

Andy: Well, I've got stuff to do. So, I'll see you around.

*Andy walked off & faded into the darkness, the lighted sky went away & Arnie left alone in the dark. Then, a light is a dim light is turned on*

Shat: So... do you... want to... play Checkers?

*Shat showed Arnie's the Checkers set he had. It was in a wooden box*

Arnie: Sure, why not. What else do I have to do?

Shat: Black or Red?

Arnie: Red.

*Shat sets up the board on a oak table, the two of them sit down on wicker chairs & begin to play*

Arnie: Your not going to eat me, are you?

Shat: No. I promised... Andy.. I wouldn't.

Arnie: Ok. Thanks.

Shat: Your... Welcome & It's... your move.

THE END (for now)

This is the end for now. I may return, I may not. That is for the future to hold & tell me when it's ready. I've enjoyed me time here (all thought I never really replied to other's works joined in on chat or varrious other things.) But, I was glad that people read my stuff & replied to them favoribly.

-Andy, the Poster that Be known as AJA.
E-Mail: The_Shoveller@Hotmail.com


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